Monday, January 19, 2015

It May Shame You - But Don't Judge Her

I wrote this article a few years back on my old blog and felt compelled to share it again. Sanctity of Life Sunday was yesterday, 01/18/2015. I watched a powerful video this morning on the gift of grace for women and men who chose abortion at one time in their life and now suffer with shame and guilt. I encourage you to read this article and then watch this video after you have read the below. (Entry has been edited)

To think about after reading: If you are interested in helping women who are suffering please contact me below in the comments section or at I have information that includes how to help women, spread the word on getting help, and making care gifts to send to women who attend “Rachel’s Vineyard” retreats. Thank you! (Please note: I am not affiliated with Rachel's Vineyard- we just happen to share the same first name)

I have sat with many girlfriends who could hardly see through their tears. Their breath was short and gasping. I held them as they cried on my shoulder. I prayed.

It is a word, a topic, that scares many Christians. With it comes a label that is inescapable. It is a secret so large that most women who do it, never tell a soul. They will live with it for their entire life. This decision was made out of fear, uncertainty, bad advice, and lies from the enemy.


There are Christian women who have at one point or another stood on a very thin line. A line between right and wrong. They have been subjected to make a decision that would forever alter the course of their life.

A teenager who does not want to shame her family, chose it.
A woman who has been sexually assaulted, chose it.
A woman who believed it was a woman’s choice, chose it.
A woman who was not a Christian at the time, chose it.
A woman who felt she had no other options, chose it.

This choice then turned out to be a sin that was not easy to seek forgiveness for. It became a sin that she found would never leave her thoughts. She labeled herself a murderer, unforgivable, shameful, a bad mother.
According to and The Alan Guttmacher Institute and Planned Parenthood's Family Planning Perspectives.

Women identifying themselves as Protestants obtain 37.4% of all abortions in the U.S.; Catholic women account for 31.3%, Jewish women account for 1.3%, and women with no religious affiliation obtain 23.7% of all abortions. 18% of all abortions are performed on women who identify themselves as "Born-again/Evangelical".

Even though these statistics are high, we do not see churches or Christians in most communities offering help for women who made a decision; chose a path she now wholeheartedly and shamefully regrets.

She is forced to carry this burden alone. She is afraid that she will be rejected by her Church family if she seeks help. She is frightened that if anyone ever found out, her Christianity would be questioned.

I am writing this devotion today because I hear and see Christian women demeaning and judging other Christian women who had an abortion. It does not matter if this woman has changed her life, or now is Pro-Life, or hurts so deeply she wishes she could erase this mistake. It does not matter that she is shamed, the silence that answers her cry for help only makes the heartbreak deeper.

This is the one sin she will forever judge herself for. She has no need to receive the judgment from anyone else. Here is what she may go through because of her guilt and shame.

Guilt, Anxiety Panic Attacks, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Psychological “Numbing”, Abortion Re-Experiencing, Anniversary Attacks, Survival Guilt, Eating Disorders, Interruption of the bonding process with present and/or future children, Alcohol and drug abuse,Other self-punishing or self-degrading behaviors, Brief reactive psychosis.

Even as I type this, because I know certain women who are unable to bear children that have never had an abortion and I have heard their unforgiving views on women who made that mistake, it makes me fear being judged for bringing this to light.

But as Christians we are called to help those in need. A Christian who chose a path that was covered in sin is no less of a woman because of it. We all sin. We all fall short of the glory of God. Jesus' death on the Cross was a cover for the mistakes we ALL make. The sin we ALL have in our lives.

If you are a woman who suffers from the guilt and shame of having had an abortion, I want to pray for you. You may privately contact me via e-mail at

Here is a site that I would love for you to check out by clicking on Rachel's Vineyard.

Here is a book that you can order to read to receive help from your pain by clicking here.

To women who have had an abortion: There is healing from this pain. As a Christian, you know God’s promises for you. Your sin is no greater than any other sin. King David was a murderer, an adulterer and more. God called him a man after His own heart. (Acts 13:22)

If you have not accepted Christ as your Savior, please know there is healing through Him. If you have questioned or “toyed” with the idea of believing but feel you are unworthy, you are not.
Romans 3:23 (NIV) for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
John 3:16 (NIV) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life

To women and men who create judgment on women who had an abortion: Open your hearts and your arms. Show her that she is lovable and worthy. Treat her as God would; with a forgiving heart.



  1. This is definitely beautifully written. Several times I had to stop and come back because the girls were looking at me funny because I was crying and I was having trouble focusing on the words. :)