This Whole Motherhood Thing

I can't believe it has been over a YEAR since I have published a blog post. Are you serious? I can recall a time when all I wanted to do was write. That was when I actually had the time. I still want to write, but lack of energy prevents me from doing so.

So much has happened since January 2016, my last post on here. So much of myself has changed.
I have become a Mother.
My son is approaching 11 months, which means a year is around the corner.
I have become passionate about breastfeeding.
I have let go of a great deal from my past.
My husband and I have launched our own family business.
So much...

I want to dive back into writing. I pray it will happen. I want to share my motherhood journey with you all. Maybe not for you, maybe really for myself and for Brandon and Gabriel. To document for us what life was like in these days. I want to share my parenting style, parenting successes and even parenting fails.

I will accept advice and constructive criticism, I will welcome it. I will, however, still parent as I feel God has led me to parent and learn as I go. I would love to hear from you and I would love for you to contact me if you are a new mom and find yourself struggling with things like breastfeeding or depression or having a sense of self-worth. 11 months makes me no expert, but 11 months at 24/7 does give me a little bit of "street cred"

Looking forward to more,
Rachel

Without Regard

Two of the most memorable events in my life (one life changing) held no recognition of skin color.

Saturday, May 9, 2015 was the first event. I am 36 years of age and have been trying for a child since 2002. God never saw fit for me to be a mother during this time. I was married from 2002-2013 and we never had children. I so desperately wanted them, though. Friends and even strangers all around me were having children. I watched as their children were turning 2, then 4, then 12 and on and on; all this while I longed deeply for that mother/child bond. I have to be honest and say that I would get upset with God from time to time.

In 2014 I re-married. I began experiencing some female issues shortly after and was in and out of the doctor’s office. In early May 2015 I was told I would need to see a surgeon. I scheduled an appointment. On May 9, 2015 I was with my spouse in Rite-Aid. I did not feel like getting out that day. I remember so well that all I wanted to do was lie around and watch movies. He really wanted me to go with him and I couldn’t say no to those puppy dog eyes he gives me so I pulled my hair back and walked out the door…dreadfully.

I was looking at the nail polish colors when someone put their hand on my back.

“You’re not a mother.” She said

“No, I’m not.” I replied as I turned to see who was addressing me.

Before me was a beautiful older black woman with the BRIGHTEST blue eyes I have ever seen in my life; her eyes literally took my breath away.

“You’re not a mother, but you’re going to have a great Mother’s Day.” She went on.

(Me to myself – who is this woman?)

We settle into a polite conversation when suddenly she touches my stomach and says:

“You have a lot of problems going on inside of you. Doctors are going to want to run tests and remove things from you.” She explained. “Do NOT let them!” she said with conviction.

“Doctors aren’t always right.” She proceeded. “You just pray and God will handle your female issues and just don’t let anyone touch you surgically.”

Now as she is saying all of this I am standing in awe. My husband, Brandon, walks up and gives me this look like “Why are you telling this woman all of your business, do you know her?” My eyes answer “I’m just as confused as you are!”

All I can do is keep saying “Yes ma’am, yes ma’am.”

She then hugs me and begins to pray as she touches my stomach, asking God to heal me and to give me a child. She tells Him that I have longed for one many years while asking God to bless Brandon and me both with a child, even if it is twins.

Peaceful, teary eyed and confused I say “Thank you.” And look to my husband who is holding back tears. She tells us goodbye and says “Don’t worry, the next time I see you, you will be walking hand in hand with your child, or twins.” And she winks.

"Did you see her eyes! They were so blue!!" my husband said.

I sit in complete shock in the car on the way home and as soon as I hit the door to my house, I collapse and sob for all the years I wanted a positive pregnancy test. I sobbed for the hope I had given up on. I sobbed for the hope springing forth in my heart like a well. I simply sobbed.

In July/August I had more problems and the appointment with the surgeon had passed, I didn’t go. I NEEDED to go, the doctor informed me. I told him “not just yet.” The end of September came and I was so extremely overwhelmed with work and everything going on that I needed to just get away with my husband. We spent a weekend in a nearby town and relaxed. Even so, I still felt easily agitated and irritable. I felt sick and had this overall feeling of the blahs. I couldn’t shake it.

We proceeded with our hectic schedules and life resumed as normal. I was still feeling fatigued and drained, feeling ill. Finally one night while shopping, on a whim, I grabbed a test. I fully believed it would be negative, but if you are a woman, you know Murphy’s Law or Aunt Flow’s Law as well as I do and when you are ready for things to get going, you understand that buying a test almost always leads to what you need to happen. It had been that way for me since 2002 anyway, as my tests were always negative and then immediately I would have my friendly reminder that I wasn’t “with child.”

So at home I took the test and for the 1^st time in 13 years, I walked away from it. In the past I had always hovered and begged, pleaded, prayed and then cried or threw the test when it said “negative”. So I just walked out and proceeded with my nightly routine. After some time passed, I went into the bathroom and saw the test there on the tub. “Oh yeah” I thought. I bent to look at it.

PREGNANT

For the first time in my 36 years I was completely speechless and had not one single thought. I am currently almost 22 weeks with 1 child. Not twins as what I like to call the “Angel” said may happen. Although I did think it would be…what with the wink and all and saying she would see us with our child, or twins ;)

I asked the Cashier that day before leaving if she knew that nice lady and she advised “No, I never saw her before.”

That encounter will always be something that I carry with me. It will always be a precious moment in time I will never forget and will always be grateful for.

Another event occurred just yesterday. Yesterday was just a BAD day…all around. I left work and headed to the store. I got in line behind an older, grey haired gentleman. There was no cashier.

“She’s gone, but will be back.” He said.

We smiled and talked for a moment. I can’t recall why…unless I just like to shout it into the world, but I told him I was expecting. He came and hugged me and got as excited as my friends and family did when I told them. We began talking and he started speaking blessings over me and my child. Eventually the conversation turned into a comedy as he was hysterical and had me laughing so hard I was crying and everyone was looking.

During this time a woman and the cashier came back. I asked the woman if this man was her father, and he was. I told her “He is an awesome man!”

She was finished with her transaction, but her dad wouldn’t leave my side. As we stood there, he began telling me funny stories and talking about my pregnancy glow as he unloaded my cart. Now, this may not seem like anything significant, but I always look for a way to help others at the store or in line anywhere. I let people break, I help unload, I pay for their milk and bread, etc.

No one ever assists me at the store. Not that I keep record, but when someone begins to give of themselves so selflessly, it resonates. It is something you remember.

I told him that he needed to go with his daughter, but they were both insistent that he stay and help me. I was grateful.

These two moments in my life were brief but left a lasting impact. And it showed me that people who truly care for one another do not see skin color. In today’s society where almost daily something concerning racism comes across my phone, computer or television set, it was so refreshing to share memorable, fun, compassionate moments with someone else that included laughter, hugs, and even hands placed on my belly without regard once to skin color.

May you bless or be blessed by someone today and not once give thought to the color of their skin.

Love, 
Rachel

Update, Update!!

Wow! It has been a while since I have been able to share what’s been happening in my little part of the world. I’ve been slipping on the recipes, the exciting news, the little epiphanies, and more. Work has been super busy for me and really required most of my attention. Being a Photographer, Website Administrator, Marketing Coordinator, Account Manager, Creating CSV files for a new Sales Rep App; AMP and more for my full-time job at CMI. And a Part-Time Chauffer, Freelance Writer, Domestic Goddess, Wife,  Chef, Accountant, Maid, and Mom to four Fur Babies for The Price Family all while attempting to eat, sleep and bath in between…well, I have really not had too much time to say even…Hello.

Let me catch you up on the last several weeks.

 A new baby! Fur Baby that is. Meet Dodson, the little puppy terror who captured our hearts. He's the happy boy trying to steal the attention.

While out for a walk one Saturday morning, this little cute ball of fur decided he wanted to follow us home. Just when we thought he would run off because he would get so far ahead of us while we were walking, he would turn around and run back to see us. Long story short, several flyers around town, 3 hours going door to door in the neighborhood, and advertising on Social Media…we learned Dodson was meant to live with us. He thinks everything is his to chew, everything is his to sit on, and all we want to do is throw his chew toy for him ALL day. It really is exhausting having a new fur baby in the house, but such a delight. He is part of the family now.

      Freelance Writing! One of my dreams is to be a writer. I don’t think I am necessarily that good…to write. However, it is something I enjoy immensely. Probably because I always have a lot to say and never any time to say it. So I like to write it all down. Besides, it helps me process feelings. I began writing for Sumter County Living Magazine and submitted my first Article a little over a month ago. Since then, I have had 3 additional assignments for Albany Living Magazine. The people I have met in the process have impacted my life in the most positive ways. I have the opportunity to meet very inspirational people who really put life into perspective for me. On top of it, I get to give credit to God for it because the majority of the people I interview are Believers and they want to share how God is working for them. The fact that I get to meet awesome people, work for awesome people and write for a Publishing Company that isn't afraid to highlight God's awesome power is a blessing that is not lost on me. Neither issue has come out yet, but Albany Living Magazine will be out in June and Sumter County will be out in August. I can’t wait to share them with my family and friends...and you!

     Counselor! Another passion of mine is counseling. I actually went to College to be a Counselor, but I never finished…because well…I was too busy being a teenager and young adult and that was more important. However, God has filled that need in a way that I am thankful for and yet at times, it can really wear me down. Every day there are at least 2 people who come to me with a problem. Why? I really don’t know…other than “Free Sessions Here” is written across my forehead. I am not complaining, I enjoy being able to assist people or simply lend an ear. I must admit that my sensitive nature does make it difficult sometimes because I care deeply and when everything else in my life is hectic…my body wears down from carrying my load plus the load of others. But I have really been needed lately and I am thankful to report that some of the issues that I have helped people work through have come out for the good of God…that I am more than thankful for!!

      Health Concerns! Ugh…I tell you. When one thing happens that is good, something bad happens. Okay, maybe not really. But lately for me it seems that way. I have really healed a lot over the past 9 months; lost 45 pounds, learned what my body likes to eat and what it simply rejects. I’ve shared a part of that journey with you already. Now I am getting sick AGAIN! Not as in…I am so sick that I need pity. Just as in…I am sick again and really tired of it. I do know however that a part of that stems from something my mother always told me. I can’t go and go and go and not get sick. I have a weakened immune system and being a sensitive person on top of that, if I go and go and deal and deal and help and assist and try to be Wonder Woman, I always wind up worn down, tired and sick. So, please pray for me to get well. I would appreciate it.

      New Project! Finally, having asked for prayer. I want to invite you to join me on something I think we could all benefit from. It's been a while since I've done this, but I used to make a Prayer Calendar that I would give out to willing participants. Beginning in May I want to begin a daily prayer calendar again. Each day we focus on one to two specific needs. These needs can be unspoken requests, requests made known but names not mentioned, etc. How this works: submit your prayer request to me at racheljwellons@gmail.com. If you have a specific date you're requesting prayer ex. Medical appointments, family issues, testing, etc...make sure to put what date you would like to have everyone pray for you. Once the calendar is filled I will submit to all participants for you to print off and place somewhere you will see daily...each time you view that calendar you will be reminded to pray for that person/need. It will help us all grow closer together and to let those in need know that their name is being lifted up. I did this several years ago for about a year and it was powerful and we received many answered prayers. So I can begin the calendar, please start submitting ASAP. Days may fill up quickly and some may need to be moved to June, so please make sure if you need prayer on a specific date to let me know when you email me. Never be embarrassed to ask for prayer. We all need them.

Sorry I haven’t been on here in a while. I think everyone understands as we all have really busy busy moments. Especially you moms!!! Wow!! How…do…you…do…it?!

Love,

Rachel

Which Would You Prefer?

Chocolate Spread 1:Justin’s Chocolate Hazelnut Spread®

Ingredients: Dry Roasted Hazelnuts, Dry Roasted Almonds, Organic Cane Sugar, Organic Cocoa, Organic Cocoa Butter, Palm Fruit Oil, Sea Salt, Natural Vanilla

Serving size: 2 tbsp.

180 Calories, 14g fat, 0mg Cholesterol, 8g Sugars, 4g Protein

Chocolate Spread 2:Nutella®

Ingredients: Sugar, Palm Oil, Hazelnuts, Cocoa, Skim Milk, Reduced Minerals, Whey, Lecithin as emulsifier (soy), Vanillin: an artificial flavor.

Serving size: 2 tbsp.

200 Calories, 12g fat, 0mg Cholesterol, 21g Sugars, 2g Protein

I love, love, love, adore, cherish, love, desire, crave, and love chocolate and strawberries. Before this lifestyle change, I would buy strawberries in bulk and a jar of Nutella® and dive into heaven. Since I have been making smarter food choices and discovered Justin’s Chocolate Hazelnut Spread® and began eating organic strawberries instead, my heaven became even more heavenly.

Yes, it costs more money, but listen…for me, making the right choices now instead of paying for them later is worth every extra penny I spend. Also, this is a treat for me. So if my budget won’t let me buy it, that really is okay…because treats shouldn't be consumed all the time. Adds to the waistline ;)

Also, notice the difference in the picture below between an organic strawberry and a non-organic one. The organic strawberry is smaller. While the conventional one is really big and appealing for the eye, it is not so much for the tummy.

For one, more than 40 different pesticides have been found on non-organic strawberries. Also, “organically grown strawberries are more nutritious than their chemically grown counterparts.” Finally, they contain more vitamins and antioxidants. 

Love, 

Rachel

Recipes

I haven’t been posting my recipes lately because I have been super busy! But I’ve had a handful of people asking me to assist them with learning to eat healthier. It makes it easier for me if I just post my recipes on here. I have a lot of catching up to do so I am including a few recipes in this one post.

Turkey “Burgers”

1 pound ground turkey

1 tsp. poultry seasoning (or can use any spices you prefer)

S & P to taste

¼ tsp. cumin powder

Tomato

1-2 Zucchini

Organic Ketchup

Horseradish Mustard

1 tsp. Grapeseed oil

1 tomato sliced

This can easily be grilled outside or cooked on your stove top. I grilled (or my husband did)

Pre-heat grill.

To the raw ground turkey add poultry seasoning (or seasonings of your choice), S&P, and cumin. Massage together and make into 4 equal patties and transfer to the grill.

While they are on the grill, slice zucchini into thin circles. 

Take a sheet of tinfoil and make a “pocket” and lay the zucchini on the sheet. Season them with S&P and stir in the grapeseed oil. Place on grill. Cook burgers until they are no longer pink and zucchini until it is tender and brown.

On a plate, layer 4-6 zucchini slices, turkey patty, tomato, ketchup, mustard and top with additional zucchini.

.

Gluten Free Chicken Pot Pie

1 Free Range Organic Whole Chicken

Two stalks of celery

Three carrots

Fresh rosemary

Poultry seasoning

½ tsp. salt

½ tsp. pepper

½ cup almond milk

3 tsp. grapeseed oil

1 cup broth from cooked chicken

Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free Biscuit & Baking Mix

In a large stock pot, cover the whole chicken with water. Into the pot put carrots, celery, rosemary, seasonings, S&P and 2 tsp. grapeseed oil. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and cover to cook until tender and no longer pink. Take chicken out of the pot and let cool.

Preheat oven to 425

In the meantime make the pie crust according to Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free Biscuit & Baking Mix package directions and cut into equal strips. (note: there will be left over crust, either wrap it and refrigerate for a few days or sadly, discard)

In an 8x8 or 9x9 baking dish place the remaining 1 tsp. grapeseed oil to coat the bottom.

Remove the skin & bones from the whole chicken once it has cooled and shred the chicken. 

Into the dish, add the shredded chicken, S & P to taste, almond milk, broth, and 1 tsp. biscuit & baking mix and stir. (if the mixture looks too thick, add additional broth or almond milk as it some of the moisture will cook out in the oven and you will want it to be moist and not dry)

Place the pie crust strips on top and bake at 425 for 15 minutes and then turn down to 350 and cook an additional 20-30 minutes or until top of crust is brown and chicken is bubbly.

Enjoy and as always...

Love, 

Rachel

I'm A Writer Ya'll!!

I did it, I did it, I did it!!! Well, God did it! Today, March 10, 2015 I submitted my very first article for PRINT you guys!! P-R-I-N-T!! Then want to know what I did after that? Submitted an invoice!! Like a, hey...I need some money...INVOICE!

I have always wanted to write and I have always wanted to write for God. All because a Facebook friend reached out to me to speak with her Publisher, meeting with said Publisher, and praying for the right words to type...God came through and did so in a major way for me.

I have officially submitted my first article for Sumter County Living Magazine and it will be delivered in August.  And you know what? These people aren't scared of God. They aren't afraid of hearing how He works in peoples lives and they aren't afraid to deliver it to the citizens of this county (and many others) through a hometown magazine.

I just can't stop basking in the glory of God right now and how awesome He is to allow me the chance to be a conduit for His greatness! How amazing He is to allow me to speak up for Him and use His name in a day and age when so many people are trying to silence it!

I wanted to celebrate with God in a major way today. When I got in my car, this song was playing. I turned the speakers up as loud as they would go and jammed out, sang along, cried and realized that my past is just that...my PAST!! When others say "you can't do this" or "you'll never be enough", etc... ignore it. And if this doesn't seem like a big deal, that is okay with me because it is to me, God, my husband, my family and my friends.

Whoop..............WHOOP!!

Love,
Rachel

Possibilities

My tea is steeping and rain is falling outside my window. Life is good, God is good. I have seen many dreams come to pass over the past two years that have blown me away and taken what faith I had and stretched it so far and so big that I know God really does want the best for me…for you. I understand grace now and what it really means. I once had a friend tell me “You don’t know how to accept God’s grace.” That was huge for me and resonated within for about 6 years.

I used to think I had to be a martyr for my previous marriage, my place of employment, to those who struggled with their own demons by “saving” them, and on and on. I used to live my life working to earn the grace only God can so freely give. Not until I stepped out of the boat and held my hand out to God in faith did I begin to see that sometimes God needs us to help ourselves.

Yes, He is always present and will always be there for us. But there are times when we have to take the training wheels off and show that we believe we can ride without falling all while knowing that He is watching to make sure that if we should crash, that He is right there to pick us up and set us back into motion only if we know in our hearts that He is there.

A while back I created a visual board for myself of my hopes and dreams that I knew could only come true if God allowed it and if He were to put the right people in my path or create the circumstances to make these dreams come to pass. I sat this visual board by my bed and look at it every single day. At the top of it are the words “It’s already mine!” to show that I know God will provide if it is His will. I have been speaking those things that are not, as though they were. Happily and with great joy I can announce that over half of what is on that board has come to pass.

Here are a few:

     In Love: I have the most wonderful husband!! I know God specifically handpicked him for me. I am still on a daily basis, shocked that this man God has given me knows me so well and treats me so well.

    Donate: I now, alongside my husband, sponsor a child through Compassion International which was something I was unable to afford 3 years ago.

     Writing: I have been blogging again and just received my first Freelance Writing job last week. I have two articles to complete and hand in by April 13^th with the opportunity to complete more assignments afterwards.

     Happy and Healthy: Since God and only God has given me the strength to change my life from living to eat to eating to live, I have lost almost 40 pounds and gained energy, better quality of life, easier movement, and less pain.

While these are only a few of the dreams that God has turned into a reality, these are the top 4 and mean the most to me. I am a true testament to what God can do for someone who “rarely gets lucky” (side note: I don’t believe in luck). He can take some serious situations and turn them around for not just good, but AWESOME! And because He has done these things for me, I must do this for Him….I must let you know that without God, much is impossible…but with God…ALL things are possible.

Love, 

Rachel